The Gentle Revolution

DAY 6: Working with difficult emotions

Let's talk about what happens when difficult emotions show up.

Most of us do one of two things:

1. Push them away ("I don't have time for this, just keep going")

2. Drown in them ("I'm completely overwhelmed, I can't function")

Self-compassion offers a third way: Hold them. Not fixing them. Not fighting them. Not drowning in them.

Just... making space for them with kindness.

When we learn to meet our difficult thoughts and emotions instead of running from them or distracting ourselves, AND we learn to apply kindness to ourselves as we notice our suffering — this is when the pain starts to shift.

Not from a place of wanting to feel better or “fix” our condition, but from applying mindfulness (full acceptance and presence without judgment) and kindness towards ourselves, we will eventually start to feel better and move through the emotions.

TODAY'S PRACTICE: SOFTEN, SOOTHE, ALLOW (15 minutes)

This practice helps you be with difficult emotions without being consumed by them.

Find yourself a comfortable and quiet space to practice this guided meditation with me:

SOFTEN, SOOTHE, ALLOW

These are the steps of the Soften, Soothe, Allow practice - watch the video above to practise together.

Step 1: IDENTIFY THE EMOTION

Bring to mind something mildly difficult (not your biggest trauma). Notice what emotion arises: Sadness? Anxiety? Shame? Anger? Fear?

Step 2: FIND IT IN YOUR BODY

Where do you feel this emotion physically? Chest? Throat? Stomach? Shoulders? Jaw? Is it tight? Heavy? Hot? No need to analyse it, just locate it.

Step 3: SOFTEN

Breathe into that area of your body. Imagine softening around the sensation. Like ice melting, or a clenched fist slowly opening. You're not making the feeling go away - you're making space for it, kind of like softening around the edges.

Step 4: SOOTHE

Place your hand on the area where you feel the emotion. Or use your soothing touch from Day 2. Offer yourself comfort like you would a child or a pet: "It's okay... I'm here... I've got you..."

Step 5: ALLOW

Give the emotion permission to be exactly as it is. You don't have to like it. You don't have to want it. You're just allowing it to exist without fighting it. "This is here right now... and that's okay... I can be with this..."

Step 6: BREATHE

Continue for 5-10 minutes. Soften, soothe, allow. Let the emotion move through you. Notice: You don't have to fix it for it to shift.

✍️ TODAY'S REFLECTION:

💭 Were you able to find a label for the most difficult emotion? How was it to explore your body for a physical sensation associated with the emotion? Were you able to locate where you felt the emotion?

Did the emotion change when you softened around that part of the body, or when you soothed yourself or just allowed it to be, without the need to fix it?

Remember: The goal isn't to make difficult emotions disappear. It's to learn you can be with them without falling apart or being completely drowned by them.

TODAY'S INVITATION:

When a difficult emotion arises today, place your hand on your heart and say:

"This is painful, and I can hold this with kindness." You're building your capacity to be with yourself - all parts of you.

See you tomorrow for our final day!

Sini 🧡