The Gentle Revolution
DAY 6: Working with difficult emotions
Let's talk about what happens when difficult emotions show up.
Most of us do one of two things:
1. Push them away ("I don't have time for this, just keep going")
2. Drown in them ("I'm completely overwhelmed, I can't function")
Self-compassion offers a third way: Hold them. Not fixing them. Not fighting them. Not drowning in them.
Just... making space for them with kindness.
When we learn to meet our difficult thoughts and emotions instead of running from them or distracting ourselves, AND we learn to apply kindness to ourselves as we notice our suffering — this is when the pain starts to shift. Not from a place of wanting to feel better or “fix” our condition, but from applying mindfulness (full acceptance and presence without judgment) and kindness towards ourselves, we will eventually start to feel better and move through the emotions.
TODAY'S PRACTICE: SOFTEN, SOOTHE, ALLOW (15 minutes)
This practice helps you be with difficult emotions without being consumed by them.
Find yourself a comfortable and quiet space to practice this guided meditation with me:
SOFTEN, SOOTHE, ALLOW
These are the steps of the Soften, Soothe, Allow practice - watch the video above to practise together.
Step 1: IDENTIFY THE EMOTION
Bring to mind something mildly difficult (not your biggest trauma). Notice what emotion arises: Sadness? Anxiety? Shame? Anger? Fear?
Step 2: FIND IT IN YOUR BODY
Where do you feel this emotion physically? - Chest? Throat? Stomach? Shoulders? Jaw? - Is it tight? Heavy? Hot? Fluttery? Don't analyze it. Just locate it.
Step 3: SOFTEN
Breathe into that area of your body. Imagine softening around the sensation. Like ice melting, or a clenched fist slowly opening. You're not making the feeling go away - you're making space for it. Whisper: "Soften... soften... soften..."
Step 4: SOOTHE
Place your hand on the area where you feel the emotion. Or use your soothing touch from Day 2. Offer yourself comfort like you would a scared child. Whisper: "It's okay... I'm here... I've got you..."
Step 5: ALLOW
‘Give the emotion permission to be exactly as it is. You don't have to like it. You don't have to want it. You're just allowing it to exist without fighting it. Whisper: "This is here right now... and that's okay... I can be with this..."
Step 6: BREATHE
Continue for 5-10 minutes. Soften, soothe, allow. Let the emotion move through you. Notice: You don't have to fix it for it to shift.
✍️ TODAY'S REFLECTION:
💭 What happened when you stopped fighting the emotion? Did it get bigger? Smaller? Change shape? Move?
Remember: The goal isn't to make difficult emotions disappear. It's to learn you can be with them without falling apart.
TODAY'S INVITATION:
When a difficult emotion arises today, place your hand on your heart and say:
"This is painful, and I can hold this with kindness." You're building your capacity to be with yourself - all of yourself.
See you tomorrow for our final day!
Sini 💜