The Gentle Revolution

DAY 2: Compassionate Touch

Hi and welcome to Day 2! How did the Self-Compassion Break feel yesterday?

Remember, there's no "right" way - just noticing what you experienced is the practice.

Today we're adding something powerful on the somatic side of self-compassion: touch. Physical touch releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone) and activates your parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest).

The amazing thing is that your body responds to self-touch the same way it responds to being touched by someone who cares about you. Your nervous system doesn't know the difference between receiving care and offering yourself care - it just knows: "I'm being cared for. I'm safe."

Evidence shows that touch is a reliable way of expressing kindness and compassion, and a simple body gesture like putting a hand over the heart can influence how we think and feel. Self-soothing touch has been shown to reduce the stress hormone, cortisol.

According to Paul Gilbert (who created Compassion-Focused Therapy), when we criticize ourselves we’re tapping into the body’s threat-defense system (our reptilian brain). This system evolved so that when we perceive a threat our amygdala gets triggered, we release cortisol and adrenaline, and get ready for fight, flight, or freeze. The chronic stress of an overactive threat response can lead to anxiety, depression and many other conditions.

The mammalian care-giving system is triggered by two main factors – soothing touch and gentle vocalizations, also for humans. When we practice self-compassion, especially with physical gestures and a gentle tone of voice, we generate a sense of safety that counteracts the stress generated by the threat-defense system.

TODAY'S INVITATION:

Watch the video below where I share with you the different hand positions and options for supportive and soothing touch.

Every time you feel stressed today, pause and place your hand in your soothing spot for 3 breaths. That's it. Just hand + breath + kindness. This might seem too simple to matter. But trust me, your nervous system is listening.

See you tomorrow!

Sini 💜

P.S. If touching yourself feels too much right now for any reason, you can also visualize being held or imagine someone who loves you placing their hand where yours would go.

Today’s Practice:

Soothing Self-Compassionate Touch

Set aside 10 minutes in a quiet space.

Step 1: Try different touches and notice which feels most soothing:

- Hand on heart

- Hand on belly

- Both hands on heart

- Hands cradling your face

- One hand on heart, one on belly

- Arms crossed in self-hug

- Hand on cheek

Take 30 seconds with each one. Which feels most comforting?

Step 2: Once you find your touch, practice "Affectionate Breathing" (5 minutes):

  • Place your hand in your soothing spot

  • Breathe naturally

  • With each inhale: "I am here" - With each exhale: "I care about myself"

  • Or simply breathe and feel the warmth of your own hand

Step 3: Notice what comes up:

- Does it feel awkward at first? (Very normal)

- Does emotion arise? (Also normal - sometimes self-kindness opens the floodgates)

- Do you resist it? (Your inner critic might say this is "silly" or "self-indulgent")

All of these responses are okay. Just notice them with open curiosity.