The Gentle Revolution

Good morning! How did the Self-Compassion Break feel yesterday?

Remember, there's no "right" way - just noticing what you experienced is the practice.

Today we're adding something powerful: touch. Physical touch releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone) and activates your parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest).

The amazing thing? Your body responds to self-touch the same way it responds to being touched by someone who cares about you. Your nervous system doesn't know the difference between receiving care and offering yourself care - it just knows: "I'm being cared for. I'm safe."

Evidence shows that touch is a reliable way of expressing kindness and compassion, and a simple body gesture like putting a hand over the heart can influence how we think and feel. Self-soothing touch has been shown to reduce the stress hormone, cortisol.

According to Paul Gilbert (who created Compassion-Focused Therapy), when we criticize ourselves we’re tapping into the body’s threat-defense system (our reptilian brain). This system evolved so that when we perceive a threat our amygdala gets triggered, we release cortisol and adrenaline, and get ready for fight, flight, or freeze.

Here’s the problem: yhe threat-defense system works well for protecting against threats to our bodily selves. Increasingly, however, the threats we experience are to our self-concept.

We internalize the messages of others, either in childhood or from cultural oppression, leading to self-contempt. The chronic stress of an overactive threat response can lead to anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and a host of physical disorders.

The mammalian care-giving system evolved so that the infant would keep safe by staying close to the mother. The system is triggered by two main factors – soothing touch and gentle vocalizations. This releases oxytocin and opiates in both parents and children, helping the infant feel safe and secure. When we practice self-compassion, especially with physical gestures and a gentle tone of voice, we generate a sense of safety that counteracts the stress generated by the threat-defense system.

TODAY'S PRACTICE: FINDING YOUR SOOTHING TOUCH

Set aside 10 minutes in a quiet space.

Step 1: Try different touches and notice which feels most soothing: - Hand on heart - Hand on belly - Both hands on heart - Hands cradling your face - One hand on heart, one on belly - Arms crossed in self-hug - Hand on cheek Take 30 seconds with each one. Which feels most comforting?

Step 2: Once you find your touch, practice "Affectionate Breathing" (5 minutes): - Place your hand in your soothing spot - Breathe naturally - With each inhale: "I am here" - With each exhale: "I care about myself" - Or simply breathe and feel the warmth of your own hand

Step 3: Notice what comes up: - Does it feel awkward at first? (Very normal) - Does emotion arise? (Also normal - sometimes self-kindness opens the floodgates) - Do you resist it? (Your inner critic might say this is "silly" or "self-indulgent") All of these responses are okay. Just notice them with curiosity.

TODAY'S INVITATION:

Every time you feel stressed today, pause and place your hand in your soothing spot for 3 breaths. That's it. Just hand + breath + kindness. This might seem too simple to matter. Trust me - your nervous system is listening.

See you tomorrow!

Sini 💜 P.S. If touching yourself feels too vulnerable right now, you can also visualize being held or imagine someone who loves you placing their hand where yours would go.